Happy 4th

Let there be fireworks

The Onion= Welcome To T.G.I. Fridays! May I Annoy The Living Shit Out Of You?

By Jenni Aberg

Hi, welcome to T.G.I. Fridays! May I annoy the living shit out of you? My name is Jenni, and I'll be your incredibly irritating server tonight! So, how are you folks doing this evening? Great!

Thanks sooo much for waiting! It has just been completely insane around here! So if I seem a little brain-dead, please bear with me!

Can I start anybody off with one of our overpriced, stupidly named drinks? We've got a new Totally Tropical Piña Colada Smoothie that's totally amazing. No? Just waters all around? Not feeling very adventurous tonight, are we? Hey, no prob! I'll be back with your aguas in just two shakes!

I am sooo sorry that took so long! Like I said, it's just been nuts. So, can I start you folks off with some greasy, disgusting appetizers? I highly recommend the Mexicali Rose Tequila-Fried Buffalo Wings. My personal fave, though, is the Five-Alarm Chili-Pepper Quesadillas with a side of Sesame-Seed-Grilled Tostadas and Margarita-Flavored Monterey Jack Dip. No? Just entrees? Wow, you folks don't mess around, do ya?

Are you aware of our specials that nobody ever, ever orders? I'll mention them even though you've decided what you want. The first is our Southwestern Grilled Fettuccine Alfredo, which is a lot like our regular Fettuccine Alfredo, except the egg noodles are chargrilled and the cream sauce is flavored with a ranch dressing. It's served with either a Mediterranean veggie salad or refried-bean dip. The second special is the Southwestern Grilled Avocado Meatloaf with Oriental vinaigrette marinara. Don't those sound not the least bit tempting?

Doesn't my uniform make you happy? Aren't you happy? Aren't you so happy you could take a bullet through the head?

Whew! I cannot believe how busy we are tonight! I swear, it doesn't normally take an hour for entrees. Anyway, thank you so much for your patience! You're the salsaburger with fries, right? And you're the Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad. Here ya go! Anything else I can get for you? Can I top off that Coke for you, sir? Great!

Say, I forgot to mention this before, but we've got our own freshly brewed ice tea with Mexican-grilled lemon. Any takers? Or, better yet, would you like to see our beer and wine list? That's too bad, because alcoholic drinks are the best way to increase the bill, which in turn increases my tip.

So, how's that burger working out for you, sir? Great! Actually, I couldn't care less. Would you like to see the dessert menu? Take your time looking it over, and I'll be back in a couple of minutes. By the way, I meant to say this before, but I absolutely adore your top. No, not yours, sir! Although you're quite the looker yourself!

Isn't my voice annoying? Did you notice how every third word out of my mouth is "great"? Isn't that fucking annoying?

All finished here? Great! Would you like a box to put those leftovers in? You sure? Okay! Have you decided what you'd like for dessert? The Asphyxiation By Caramel? I'm sorry, we're actually all out at the moment. Did you have a second choice? The Kahlua Fudge Slide with real Reese's Pieces? Oh, geez, we're out of that, too. I'm sooo sorry! We do, however, have the Tex-Mex Fried Neapolitan Ice Cream with kiwi shavings. Would you prefer that instead? No? Just the check? Great! I'll be right back!

Sorry for the delay again, but the register's been acting up. I swear, I think there's a full moon out tonight! Is there anything else I can get for you? I know I totaled out the check, but we do have an adjoining bar. A negligible percentage of our bar sales go to the March of Dimes, so it's technically for a good cause! Oh, you have to leave as soon as possible? Okay, well, you guys have a super night! You can just bring your check up to the hostess at the register when you're set. It's been a pleasure getting on your nerves! Bye!

The Art Of Escape

One thing to look forward to then everything falls apart
All this frustration for the pure sake of art
In the dead of night, you can hear the thunder
What’s left of my sanity this evening will plunder
Struggling against the current for a taste of life
Only to be washed back to shore by unbridled strife
Searching this wasteland to find something with meaning
Can’t find the silver lining that’s supposed to be gleaming
You grasp for a moment to define who you are
You miss by a blink your one shooting star
You’ve become so involved to where reality ends
You’ve isolated yourself from all loved ones and friends
An escape from the truth you’ve created in you mind
To leave the shell of your old life in the deep mist behind
The purity of salvation that you long for so desperately
To the point where you wonder what’s actually left of me
The pieces left are both scratched up and shattered
You remember the days when everything mattered
Tomorrow only brings a glimpse of the horrors to unfold
And that one little glimmer turns right to fools gold
You pull yourself away from the fantasies you write
To tolerate this world and stop this inner fight

By: M.Rosica and C.Rappa

Happy Halloween

Okay

I'm sorry but. . .

My It's Quiet in Here

Wicked

I'LL GET YOU MY PRETTY...

AND YOUR LITTLE BLOG TOO!!!

Dig

You can find amazing things if you just go outside and dig, If you explore and become a kid again. And live.

Well

Look who has come for a visit.

The Witching Hour

When the clock strikes three,

You might just see,

A spirit, ghoul, or ghost.

But be aware,

They're always there,

And they might just make you their host.

So if they choose you,

Here's what you do,

Don't give into their power.

But be warned they'll be back,

And it's you they'll attack,

For that is the witching hour.

what

Where the hell is everybody am i supposed to handle this on my own is this it I'm leaving you are all mean. why me why. you jerks where am I, I want to know who are you is this France. What. are you insane. don't look at me. Don't. I want my mommy. You'll be sorry she's a monster. The famed T-Rex ya you heard me. I'll name you Bangladesh. goodbye hello merry Christmas. you nut. ha ha I'm crazy

Where is everyone?

i am so lost what happened to the other guy on the blog it is like he got eaten or something.